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| Helping someone with depress |
Not an option for anyone to have a loved one or friend with depression. However it still happens whether we like it or not. But in such situations you have to make choices so that your life and your loved ones are the best. The article below will introduce you to a few things to know.
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| Be patient with them |
1. Depression is not an option one can chose
Depression is one of the most unpleasant and hopeless experiences a person can experience. Sometimes feel sad, sometimes feel empty, and sometimes absolutely feel nothing. There are periods when depression can make a person feel mentally and physically numb, unable to do the normal things they enjoy doing or things they know they should do. Remember that no one has the option of depression to chose.
2. Depression is not just a bad day, a bad mood or something that can "naturally go away"
Saying things like "everything will be fine", "you will be fine" or "you just have to leave the house then you will be ok" to a depressed person is easy, because you think you are giving them a solution or are showing them a simple way to make them feel better and lessen the pain for them. But it doesn’t work, instead this type of statement is actually hollow, offensive, and essentially meaningless. It just makes him or her feel more stressed, making them feel as though they are lacking in energy, and as if you did not understand what they are going through. It is like you try to tape a serious wound with a trivial bandage for a cut. They understand that you are trying to help them but saying these things just makes them feel worse. A quiet hug will be far more useful than saying this trivial thing.
Instead, you can say: “I am here for you. I believe in you. I believe you are stronger than this and I believe you can get over this. What can I do to help you? What do you think will make you feel better?”
Avoid giving advice instead. Let them know that you are there for them and ask them questions to help them find out what makes them feel better.
3. Do not try to make yourself as an example
When someone is experiencing a difficult period, we often want to share with them our own stories so that they know that we have gone through the same thing and can understand the struggles they have in the present. When you say something like, "Well, I was once depressed ..." It will only make them feel you are shrinking their pain through your prism. Show sympathy but do not make them feel unwilling to express their feelings anymore. The best thing you can offer your loved one is your ability to listen. That's all they really need.
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| Know that they are fighting a battle |
4. Sometimes they will isolate themselves from others before letting you come closer
Depressed people often feel uncomfortable with the feeling that they are burdening others. Therefore, they will isolate themselves and chase away the people they need most to get rid of the depression that is making the people they love feel tired. When they keep distance and space, just let them know that you are still there available, but do not try to force them to meet or talk about what is going on if they do not want to.
5. They can easily be overloaded
Frequent burnout is a common effect of depression. Merely going through the day can be a very tiring and overwhelming task for the depressed. They may look completely normal at some point but soon after they get tired and lose energy, even if they sleep a lot every night. This can lead to a sudden cancellation of plans, leaving early events, or saying “no” to everything. Remember that this has nothing related with what they did. This is just a common effect of living with the disease.
In part 2 of this article, we will continue to discuss some of the issues that you need to keep in mind when going along with a depressed relative.
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