The bigger the child becomes, the longer distant they keep from parents who are busy with social relationships. So the gap between the two generations will widen. The arguments increased gradually and sometimes parents often lose control and scold them with words seemingly harmless but unexpectedly may hurt them seriously.
"Stumble in saying is hard to be raised up!” In the teaching children, parents should absolutely not say the following words:
If you ever think or say this to your children, you really do not deserve to be a mother. We all have times that feel extremely negative and helpless in teaching our children. However, never foolishly say things like, "Why did I give birth to a baby like this?", "I wish I did not give birth to you" ... The simple reason you know, these negative emotions and thoughts are just temporary, not your real thought. So do not make children feel like you really regret giving birth to them.
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| Why did I give birth to a child like this? |
When speaking like that, most parents are trying to set a good example for their children, encouraging them to follow their siblings. This statement is particularly prominent in a family of two siblings, a well-behaved child and an incompetent child. However, the effect of this statement is quite the opposite. When talking about such comparisons, parents accidentally hurt and indirectly push their two children into opposing positions. As a result, the more likely a child will be to react negatively, try to prove defamatory to claim "Being OTHER" to the other.
Remember, each child is a separate individual, with different minds, emotions, thoughts and therefore, there are also different good aspects.
On weekends, you have a guest, your daughter helps you cook and accidentally burns a good meal. Being sorry, you immediately blamed "You cannot do anything well " in front of everyone.
Being assessed as "ignorant" and "worthless" no one likes. For parents, such scolding often occur in order to make children feel ashamed. But if they are too much criticized, your child will become more skeptical of their own abilities and less likely to struggle.
Albeit being so frustrated and disappointed, however, parents should refrain from emotions. Try to use tender words and expressions to help them understand what they did wrong and feel "guilty" and not cause your child feel shame or hurt.
"It is nonsense what makes you so sad and worry about"
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| "It’s nonsense" is a terrible sentence |
Mum could not understand why her 10th grade son was angry with her girlfriend just because she had forgotten to send him a message. Because of that, the boy bursts into anger slamming his room door when he returned from school and did not eat anything. Under the eyes of adults it is the "silly" thing. But before you say "It’s nonsense", please consider: when you are upset, how do you feel then if you do not receive the sympathy, consolation instead of these words?
That is the feeling of your child then. If you keep saying like that, the argument will probably happen in the direction of "You don’t understand me / You don’t understand nothing / You never put yourself in my position." Just like that, instead of being a friend who can confides in children sharing joys and sorrows, you can make your child day by day be more closed and hesitate to express emotions.
Children, especially those who are in puberty, are becoming more sensitive to parental words. Therefore, the mother should pay attention to control her emotions, think carefully and carefully consider when trying to scold or blame the child for everything. Parents’ temporary speech may be an unhealthy wound in their heart.
These sentences will make your child don't want to talk with you. So please find out another reasons in the next article
These sentences will make your child don't want to talk with you. So please find out another reasons in the next article
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